My new obsession!

O.M.G. I can hear some of you say. She has ANOTHER obsession!

Yes I know it’s true.  I don’t have hobbies.  I become obsessed about things. In my defense it has only gotten worse since I stopped the hrt meds and no longer am having anxiety attacks.   But yes……….My name is Cathy and I have a problem.   There are too many pretty things to do/buy.

Oh my obsessions.  Let me count the ways.

Obsession 1: SHOES.

The higher, the more sparkly the better. Oh what I won’t do for a pair of shoes.  Honestly I cannot walk past a shoe shop without stopping to talk with the shoes left in the window.   And if I happen to go INTO the shop well then I have to adopt a pair.  

Kids at school ask me how many pairs of shoes I own and I honestly cannot answer this question because I don’t know.   I have a shoe shelf for my pretties.  I guess there are about 15?……18?…..22?  Of those.  Now these are not your everyday shoes these ate “special”. Unique.  Lovely shoes. Shoes you have to commit to before you wear them because walking down stairs.  Distances longer than 400 meters.  Wearing for longer than 4 hours. Are either going to be dangerous or just downright painful.

Then I have everyday work shoes. Winter and summer styles.  About 8 pairs in total.   Ohhhh and boots thst won’t fit on the pretties shelf – 4……no 5 of those. 

And finally stashed under the bed in those fancy plastic shoe boxes is my shoe graveyard.   These are not shoes that have been worn out – shoes that can no longer be worn go in the bin – these are the shoes that were once in the pretties category,  but no longer belong there.   The high heels that can no longer be called high because pumps were invented.  Or they have long pointed toes ( the ones that curl up like Santa’s elves shoes).  Or the (whisper) sensible shoes that I bought one day thinking they would be great for when I need to show my serious side at work. Yep never happens.   Now I have no idea just how many shoes are hiding out under our bed.  So I HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY SHOES I OWN. But yes I absolutely need that sexy pair that I saw in the window of that shop…….

Obsession 2: Nails.   I have always had a thing for nails.   I was wearing falsies before they became cool. I have that many nail polishes that they take up a whole shelf in a cupboard.  And recently this obsession has resurfaced.   Not the false nails – the nail art.

I am restrained with this obsession though.  I keep it to only 2 manicures a week.  But like shoes I can’t walk past a nail polish stand to check out the new colours to see if there are any I don’t have.  Canberra is the worst place to live for a make up obsession.   There are no real stores for makeup.   There are the cheap discount type stores that sell last seasons products but nothing like ” sephora ” in the States ( now they knew how to do makeup – just imagine a whole WALL of nail polish. Sigh).

Obsession 3: Bling.  The more shiny the better.  Crystals.  Rhinestones.  Glitter.  I don’t care.   If it has bling on it I WANT IT.  I love tacky when it vomes to bling. If I owned a be dazzler I would have covered P’s damn motorcycle in them just because they look pretty.   I have resorted to blinging out my own shoes because I can. In hindsight I did not realise that each shoe takes sbout 5000 crystals……..only 2000 more yo go and pair number 1 will be finished.

Now my new obsession is Pinterest.  Originally it started as a way to keep recipes.   Then it was nail art ideas. Then I included makeup styles.   Now I can’t go a day without pinning a few things.  And you can follow other people who have the same obsessions.  Then you don’t have to just stick to finding your own pages to pin. No. When you follow someone you can see whay they have pinned and then pin them as well.  Honestly I don’t know if I will ever use that recipe for Triple Threat Chocolate Chip Oreo Cupcakes, but they look so god damn good a that im going to pin it.  And mary in Sweeden just pinned a slow roasted duck recipe.  And wow did you see those shoes that Evelyn pinned? Not to mention that little burst of pride you get when you check your email and find out that so and so just pinned one of your pins……….

Ok enough for now feel the urge to check out Pinterest and see what’s been pinned.

Things are always better on a stick!

Today hubby and I went to the Canberra Show.  We didn’t take out a second mortgage to pay the $10 parking fee and then the $25 each for entry.  Son no. 1 managed to score us a couple of freebie passes through work and we were able to get in for a bargain price.

This was just as well as if we had of forked out $60 for entry we would have been very upset.  We don’t go for the ridiculously priced show bags filled with 50c toys or the scary as all heck rides that put a person in unnatural positions – luke upside down.   We go to look at the trades and displays.

That is where the disappointment started.   The exhibits were few. The stuff they were trying to sell nothing to catch our attention.   The show was probably half the size it was about 3 or 4 years ago.  Although I did purchase some absolutely AMAZING mineral eyeshadow that can also be used as nail polish!

The only thing that made the show worth the trip was the food on a stick! Isn’t it amazing how if you take ordinary food, stick it on a stick and Bob’s your uncle you have superfood.  Corn on the cob becomes crazy corn.  And O.M.G. chip on a stick is to die for.

Parents need to take a leaf out of the carnies book and start putting more food on a stick to make it more palatable to children.  Salad on a stick, sprouts on a stick , broccoli on a stick. ……the possibilities are endless!

Fading to black.

Have decided that I have become invisible at work.   Find myself sitting by myself on my side of the staff room because everyone else has moved desks.  Would move as well but there are no desks left.

Could probably go through a whole day and no one would know if I was there or not.   Brand new hair cut today.  Literally 10 to 15 cut off the length and the only person who noticed was an executive staff who only comes into the staff room once a week.

Struggling to work out of a science lab as the kitchen has been demolished and not one person has bothered to see if things are going ok.

Thinking that it is time for a move.  

On the upside everything at home is looking better.

Road Trip, River Cottage, Ski Fields and Rally Driving (aka motorcycle research).

One of the great things about Number One (and only) Son turning 18 is that we now have the freedom to act like we are in our 20’s and take a road trip.   No plans.  No bookings.  Just get in the car and drive.

That’s what P and I decided to do on Tuesday.  We got in the car,  picked a direction and drove. No particular destination in mind. Just to take that road and see where we end up.  Stop when we see something interesting.  Just do what we want.

The first night we ended up in Central Tilba.  Why? Because we watched River Cottage on tv and wanted to check the area out.

We stayed at The Two Story B&B. Ken and his wife who run the place (also the general store) were fantastic and couldn’t have been nicer. When we approached them to see if they had a vacancy they were sitting out the front having a drink with some locals.   Ken sent us inside to check out the place first before he would even consider letting us book a room and we got to choose which one we wanted.  We picked the blue one because it had the view of the main street.

We did a quick tour of the shops before they closed.   Was surprised to note that the lolly shop clearly labeled all their gluten free lollies. Was very controlled and only bought 3 bags.  Baileys boiled lollies, green apple gummy bears and COBBERS! 

Quick drink at the pub (everything else closed at 5).  They had plenty of spirits,  but none of those fancy mixes.  Coke goes with everything right?

Of course we had to do some exploring and walked up to the water tower lookout. Good thing I wore wedge sandles because I wouldn’t have been able to navigate the rocks in heels. Back to the B&B.

We found it interesting to compare the photos from our hotel room from our last holiday just 2 months ago in Vegas

To the view from our hotel for this holiday

BIG DIFFERENCE.

We went to the pub for dinner (it was that or drive back to town). Food was ordinary but got to meet some people from the River Cottage show and get the gossip.   Found out that the guy who is the star of the show no longer lives on the farm and that there are a whole heap of people who are employed to work as ‘research’ that you never see.

Locals at Central Tilba are really friendly and enjoyed the whole time we were there.  Would love to go back some time.

Day 2 we decided to head south.   Through Bermie.  Quick stop at the Blue Pool

Down through Eden and decided to keep going south.   Discovered that there is pretty much nothing that resembles a town for 200km after Eden.  Which we found really weird after the NSW coast where there were little townships every 20km or so.

Finally ended up at Lakes Entrance for the night.  Decided to stay simply because we had never been there but had heard of the place.  Explored main street – not near as cosmopolitan as I thought a town frequented by Melbournites would be. Would even say Batemans Bay was more cosmopolitan.  

Checked out 90 Mile Beach. Decided to believe whoever named it that and not test the name.   There are these fantastic wood carved sculptures on the main street that are definitely worth the trip to check out.

Day 3 put us in a bit of a conundrum.  P wanted to check out the road that is used for the Mount Bulla Sprint, but we weren’t sure if we could get there in a day.  

We thought we would drive and see how close we could get.   So we headed up the Great Alpine Road.   P had a ball driving all the twisty roads headed up to Mt Hotham with virtually no traffic.   He was only disappointed that he was in a car and not on his motorbike.   I think he has now added this road onto his Bucket List.

Stopped at the top of Mt Hotham.

Nothing open in summer but definitely worth the view.

More winding roads coming down the mountain and ended up in Beechworth for the night.  Planning on going home on the Great Alpine Way tomorrow so we can say we have traveled on the two highest roads in Australia.  P promises me that it really doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that they are twisty and winding,  but I secretly think the whole way he has been listening to a voice over in his head that has been commentating his driving like you hear on the Taga Rally videos.  Maybe I shouldn’t have let him watch the Dakka Rally before we left for our road trip. …….

We’ll Never Be Rested: What if Parents Rewrote the Lyrics to Lorde’s ‘Royals’?

Lorde is one of my favourite artists at the moment. I love this cover.

Josh Stearns

Lorde’s song “Royals” was everywhere in 2013. But my wife and I wondered, what if instead of a 17 year-old superstar, it was overtired parents of young kids who had written this song. The lyrics below are the result. My friend, singer/songwriter Lisa Hillary  recorded our lyrics and it is amazing. Listen to the track and go check out Lisa’s music.

UPDATE: Thanks to fans of the song we now have a video! Check it out.

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Petition to have a new rating for movies.

A few years ago I made the decision to not do movies or tv shows that make me cry.   This decision came about after the third or fourth movie in a row that I went to with my BF that made me cry.  I mean there is nothing worse in a catch up and some ‘girl time’ than in the middle of the movie you are watching you burst into tears.  She got to the point where she didn’t want to invite me out anymore.

Why is it that directors and writers of chick flicks think that they need to have a part that makes you dig out the tissues?  We need to let Hollywood in on a secret.  GIRLS DON’T LIKE TO CRY! Crying,  especially in public is the worst thing you can put a woman through.   It is probably the main reason guys don’t want to watch them.

The first reason for this is it ruins your makeup.   Even the strongest of waterproof mascara is not tear proof.  I did not spend 30 minutes putting my makeup on in the morning (45 if it is date night) to end up looking like this:

The first thing a woman does when she goes out in public is to size up the competition.  Guys you might get a look in, but really the first thing we are doing is judging all the other women.  We evaluate what we like about them, their hair, their clothes (and shoes). Then we decide what we don’t like about them and compare how we stack up.  However,  when you look like you have just done ‘Tough Mudda’ in full makeup it is very difficult to feel you are able judge others on how they present in public.  Your makeup is like a suit of armor and if your armor has a nick in it,  then you don’t feel like you are ready to go into battle.

The second reason we do not like to cry is that it isn’t pretty.   The lovely starlet in the movie looks like this when she is crying:

Nobody looks like that in real life when they cry.  It is physically impossible to cry without your face screwing up so you nose takes on animalistic qualities.  Your face goes all red and eyes get puffy. 

During the act of crying there is absolutely nothing attractive.   Sure the movie theater is dark so the only people who see you looking like this are the people sitting directly to your right and left,  but of course when you cry liquid doesn’t just leak out of your eyes.  

It’s the liquid that comes out of your nose that causes the big dilemma.  Nobody wants snot running down their face, not to mention in order to stop the ridiculous snorting noises you make when crying you need to close your mouth.   Once said mouth is closed then breathing is required through the nose.   This can’t happen while liquid is blocking this orifice.   So what can you do?  You can snort it back up – yuk and noisy.   Or you can find that tissue (mostly clean) that you know is hidden somewhere in your handbag that you placed in their last spring when you had hay fever.   Tissues are naturally good at hiding,  especially in dark cinemas (and pockets- proven repeatedly by the amount of times I have had to rewash entire loads of washing).  Actually I think they are afraid of the dark.   Because when looking for your purse it is extremely difficult to find it because of all the tissues in the way.  However,  in a dark cinema when trying to find those pesky tissues they all go into hiding and you spend 5 minutes scratching around in your bag looking for them ( while trying not to knock the drink of the person on your left, snort or scream in agony at the pain from the chemical burn from the makeup running into your eyes).

The third reason nobody likes to cry is because afterwards you feel like crap.  Your eyes ache,  your nose is sore and you have a headache that rates between 6 and 99 on the Richter scale.   Girl time is there so we can feel capable of dealing with the mundane or dramatic events our families present to us.  Movies present about 90 minutes of get away from the real world.   Why does anyone think that we want to come away from a chick flick feeling worse than when we went in? We could have just stayed at home and argued with the kids about cleaning their room and making their beds without shelling out the $17 for a ticket to feel the same way.

So now I refuse to watch a movie or tv show without talking to someone who has seen it first to give me a tissue rating on it.  I have missed many a season finale and girl catch up for this very reason.   J is so totally clued into this and will warn me on the tv shows we both watch about if they will make me cry before I watch them. 

This has me thinking: Wouldn’t life be much simpler if we had a tissue rating system in place.  10 tissues for movies like ‘PS I love you’ that get you crying in the first 10 minutes and then repeat the crying jag every 20 minutes for the duration.   5 tissues for movies like ‘Life as we know it’ that get you crying within 30 minutes,  but then you laugh for the rest.  3 tissues for those movies that go great for 85 minutes,  but then make you cry in the last 5 minutes.  Movies that make you laugh so hard you cry would need to be given a 1 tissue rating.  And cinemas should be responsible in there ratings and provide the required number of tissues with every ticket- glow in the dark ones so they can be found in said dark cinema.  
Or even better Hollywood needs to stop making movies to make people cry.  Life is too short to spend it crying over somebody else’s troubles.  Chick lit books manage to keep me involved for 280 pages with only brief sections if feeling sorry for the heroine,  but then she gets the hot guy back (or kidnapped by the town crazy, or shot) before I dissolve into tears myself.   Hollywood take a leaf from ’50 Shades of Grey’ crying is not sexy!

Romance, Car Steros and Weddings.

One of my good friends (one who still hasn’t given up on me despite my constant anxiety attacks last year -I hope) just announced on Facebook that she eloped and got married in Bora Bora.  All week I have gazed with mild jealousy (ok I was green with envy) at the amazing holiday location her man had taken her to.  Lots of beautiful photos of their villa – one of those ones that sit right out over the water with a glass floor right in the bedroom.  

There is an amazing photo of her laying on the edge of the infinity pool overlooking the sea. 

Then today she posted her wedding pictures on the same island. Oh wow. She looked stunning.  So happy.  Like they were both taking a walk on the beach and decided to just get hitched.  No wedding day jitters.  Not having to worry about pleasing 468 relatives that all have their own idea about the proper way that weddings should be done. She didn’t have to decide who would sit at which table,  who was fighting with whom. Just the two of them celebrating their love for each other in one of the world’s most romantic locations.  Sigh…..
Don’t get me wrong.  I am over the moon happy for her.   I’ve seen her work through a divorce.  She has three very alpha male boys who each take their turns to make her life both interesting and make her feel guilty for trying to raise them with morals and values.  She deserves to have this special moment in her life and I am so happy that she has found the love of her life.
There is this tiny piece inside me that wants that kind of ROMANCE!
P does not do romance.  He has made that very clear from the beginning.  The first valentine’s day gift he gave me was mag wheels for my car (the second valentine’s day I got a car stereo). And to him those were what he considered as fantastic gifts.  
Our own wedding 19 years ago was not unromantic.  After all I planned everything down to the final detail. We had all the romantic things. The horse and carriage, the little church,  a wedding venue that looked fantastic.

We even had some people in the wedding party who we still have contact with.   But really it was all about making everyone else happy and not what made us happy.   It was stressful to be honest and there is no way I would do it the same way again. Even the day after our wedding I secretly wished we had eloped.   Something simple on a beach with just the two of us celebrating ‘us’.
But there are certain family members that would never have forgiven us if we had of done that.  And to be honest there are some precious moments from my wedding day that I will cherish forever.   Like seeing my dad in tears when he saw me in my dress.
Now I have tried to enforce romance into P, but it is like he just doesn’t appreciate the moment like he should.  Romantic walks on beaches turn into rock climbing experiences.  I might as well ask him to strip naked in public than try and capture a moment with a photo of us. And slow dances or any dancing is strictly limited to once a year under protest.   I had planned to celebrate our 19th wedding anniversary by getting married again in Las Vegas,  but poor P was so sick the entire time we were there he hardly had the energy to enjoy the things he wanted to do.
There are the occasional romantic gesture – buches of flowers,  he will even sit through the occasional chick flick without criticism.  But the fact is he does not do my version of romance.   Sigh. …..I guess I will just have to live vicariously and get my romance fix through the likes of my friend who goes to exotic islands to get married, keep watching episodes of say yes to the dress and four weddings as well as the Kristen Ashley books that I am addicted to.   After all P did arrange for me to get a new car last year.  In alpha speak I am sure that it is the equivalent of a 10 carrot diamond.

Adventures in Cronut land.

So while cleaning up my magazine pile I found an old Good Taste magazine. Flicked through and found that Cronut recipe I had been looking for.   Hmmmmm…….difficulty hard. I like a challenge.
A cronut is a cross between a croissant and a donut.  Sounds like fun.  The pictures look great and everyone knows that you cook with your eyes.  I mean when you pick a recipe in a recipe book you are always drawn to the best looking pictures.
Ok started making these cronuts. Basic bread recipe starter add this to a pastry dough, fold over butter. Refrigerate and repeat 3 times.

Decided to skip the 2 hours between rolling and only waited 30 minutes.   Once all this rolling and folding is done you then cut out the donut shapes and let that sit until dough rises and doubles in size.

Ok so mine didn’t double in size, more like got a little puffy. Then you deep fry each one at 190 degrees and roll in sugar. 

Ok so mine didn’t turn out like the picture in the magazine.  Also the donut shaped ones were still raw in the middle – not good. Either the oil was too hot or my little deep fryer too small for this size. The holes were great – fluffy and cooked just right.
Not being one to let a recipe beat me I decided to try again the next day.   Problem 1- the didn’t rise. Solution more yeast. Problem 2- they didn’t cook properly.  Solution cook in the oven.

So my second attempt produced a cooked product like the holes, but they weren’t light and fluffy.

Ok to be honest they were like rocks in disguise and I suspect that I could market them to the army as back up ammunition.   They did taste ok when hot .
I think the problem may have been using normal flour instead of bakers flour. Next step a trip to costco to buy that 12kg bag of bakers flour ( work out where to hide it from P – pantry clean up will be required here). Cooking them again in oil, but hole size only and on a lower temperature.   I will probably have to wait a week or so before I try again so the boys come out of their cronut carb coma from me force feeding them my test items.
Wonder where I can source some more food guinea pigs. ……..

Welcome to 2014

Ok totally inspired to do this by my sister in law who started her own today.   Not really writing this for anyone in particular to look at (not that anyone would want to read about me lol). Just going to make this my own kind of diary to put my thoughts down.

So today is the first day of 2014. Hopefully it will be better than 2013. 5 days without the hrt meds and the anxiety attacks seem to be reducing.  Who would have thought that those little pills that were life savers 2 years ago would be causing so many problems.  Haven’t had any hot flashes as yet and paranoid every time I feel warm that they will start again.  If they do I will need to decide which is the worst evil – anxiety or heat stroke.

One thing I am loving is feeling warm again – something I haven’t experienced for 2 years. 😊

What am I looking forward to for this year?  1. Repairing the damage to my relationship that my anxiety caused with Paul.  2. Seeing Jess take his next steps as an adult.  3. Trying to reconnect with friends who I alienated over the past year because I was just too much to deal with during my anxiety times.  4. Hopefully I will be able to get over these constant headaches and neck/shoulder problems. 5. Losing these 5kg that have snuck back even though I eat low calories – thinking these are related to hrt.

me